


The Road Home for a Travelin' Soldier

by Cleo



Category: The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Community: ante_up_losers, F/M, M/M, Reincarnation, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-29 12:35:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/319943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleo/pseuds/Cleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two souls connected, four lives effected. What happens when a traveling soldier seeks his way home?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taibhrigh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taibhrigh/gifts).



> This is for Taibhrigh for the 2012 Ante Up: The Losers Fic Exchange. It was inspired by the Dixie Chicks' song 'Travelin'; Soldier'. I hope it meets all you wanted for your request.
> 
> Thanks to JoeLawson for the beta help.
> 
> When big reveal is done Taibhrigh expect to see two treats based on this for you as an additional bonus. It was one of the ways that helped me work on the fic, so it's only fitting you get them too.

**_Then_ **

He’d gotten his orders to report for training a week before his eighteenth birthday. Here he was two days later, waiting for his connection for the final leg of the trip. When the draft came and his number was up, he really had no other options. He had hoped to go to art school out east, but that involved more money that an orphan with no family support could get. Instead, here he was sitting in a café booth waiting for his bus to leave while doodling on a napkin.

He looked up as the waitress came over to take his order. He blushed at how pretty she was, especially with the bow in her hair. When she smiled, it was like the whole world lit up. He realized then exactly how alone he’d been most of his life. For the first time in a long while, he asked for something he wanted. When she said she’d be off in an hour, he was ecstatic and couldn’t wait. He observed her during that hour and she became the object for his doodles.

She took him down to an old pier nearby. He pulled out a sketch pad that he always kept nearby and asked if it was okay for him to draw her. She agreed, so he drew while they sat and talked. Halfway through, he reached over, held her hand and asked if he could write to her as he had no one else. He wanted, no, needed to have a connection to someone. When she agreed, he felt like he could walk on air. He knew it would work out somehow. Maybe through the letters he could get to know her better and maybe, just maybe, they could have a future. He checked the time and was amazed that his bus was leaving soon and he had to go. Before getting on the bus he handed her one of the sheets he’d sketched of her as something to remember him by.

By the time he reached the Army camp he was assigned, he had memorized her address and the little piece of paper it had been written on was a bit worse for wear.

**_∞∞∞∞∞_ **

She’d noticed the soldier the moment he walked in, and greeted him warmly. She thought it was cute, the way he blushed shyly and looked down at the menu, and couldn’t help her smile. She was surprised by his request to talk. But this soldier, something about him called to her and she agreed to meet with him after her shift.

She couldn’t believe how comfortable it was to talk to him. There was no weirdness and he didn’t even flinch when she told him her thoughts about some of the oddest things. All he did was ask her how she knew so much about such ideas. She blushed when she told him she’d looked some of them up in _National Geographic_ and _Popular Science_ , not the typical choices for a young female’s reading.

When he took her hand, it was the most grounded she’d ever remembered feeling. She felt that pull again, so when he asked to write, it was only natural to find herself saying yes and giving him her address. All too soon it was time for him to leave and she walked him to his bus, wished him luck and waved bye. She held the picture he’d drawn close to her chest and hoped it wouldn’t be the last time she’d ever see or hear from him.

**_∞∞∞∞∞_ **

A week later, the letters started to arrive, one or two a week depending on how hard a week he’d had. At first, the letters came from California; afterwards they came from Vietnam. Sometimes he’d even send drawings of something that he knew would be of interest to her. They were of oddities that he knew she would enjoy seeing and comment about in her letters. He’d write about how their day at the pier helped him make it through the worst parts.

She read each one and diligently replied back, and with each letter the bond they’d forged got stronger. They wrote about how they felt about the letters and the feelings they were growing toward each other over the next few months. They planned for getting together when he came back home. Her friends and family tried to warn her that falling for a soldier headed off to war was a bad idea, but she didn’t heed the warnings.

Each day, the news from Vietnam worried her and she looked forward to each letter just to know he was okay. One day she got one that said he was going deep in country and didn’t know when next he’d be able to write, but not to worry. She had started to worry when almost a month had passed since his last letter.

At a football game one Friday night, her worst fears were confirmed. After they sang the anthem, an announcer gave a listing of the Vietnam dead. When they read off his name, she ran under the stand, clutching her piccolo to her chest as her tears fell onto her band uniform. Her heart and soul broke that night along with the connection that had grounded her from their first meeting.

**_Twelve Years Later_ **

Carlos Emanuel Alvarez’s birth was something of a surprise for his parents. He was initially supposed to have been a girl according to the ultrasounds, but they weren’t disappointed that he was a boy instead. What was surprising was that when he was born he didn’t cry. The doctors and nurses weren’t overly concerned by it because it was obvious that he was breathing on his own without any problem. There were concerns that he was probably mute, but he did grumble as they cleaned him off. He made the typical new baby noises as he tried to get settled, but no crying. The other surprise was that he came into the world with his eyes wide open and seemingly aware.

Their next shock came when his father’s mother had come to visit and examined the new baby. She’d taken the baby to sit on the porch in the sun and looked him over carefully. They’d watched in confusion as all she did was hold him sitting in her lap and stared into his eyes. Not once did little Carlos move from that stare. After a few minutes, she smiled and kissed his forehead. When she looked at her son, she told him that Carlos had an old soul. One that was searching for something, a bit of unfinished business from his other life, and that he would do the family proud no matter what.

**_One Year Later_ **

She had a successful life as a journalist; the only thing missing had been love. No one ever came close to moving her or making her feel, like her soldier had that day on the pier. Her memories of a shy soldier going off to war had shaped who she’d become. His influence and the connection they shared during the few hours spent in each other’s company had never totally left. The letters that followed only cemented that feeling and his loss had been a true blow that she never recovered from.

After his death and her graduation, she got involved in protesting the war. She started out her career occasionally writing for an independent local paper. Some of the things her soldier had mentioned about the things in Vietnam ended up featured in her articles. That knowledge and her penchant for oddball trivia allowed her to be a good interviewer able to put people at ease.

Her life was going well, but during the past year she had become increasingly restless. Lately, more often than not, she found herself looking at and rereading the old letters she kept in a box on her closet shelf. Her most precious treasures, had accompanied her practically wherever she had traveled for the past thirteen years.

That night her restlessness was particularly strong and nothing worked to distract her from it. So once again she found herself sitting on her bed with the familiar box that held bittersweet memories. Her nightly glass of red wine sat on the bedside table while she slowly went back through the letters and pictures. More than any other night, his loss hit her hard as she mourned him and her grief was so strong she fell asleep still sobbing.

Two days later, there was a small blurb of an article in the obituaries page of the local newspaper, stating she had died from natural causes and no misdeeds were presumed to have occurred. Her childhood friends and family knew that she’d finally died of a broken heart. They hoped that now, she would be able to be reunited with her traveling soldier. No one realized that she’d died on the same day he had.

**_Four Years Later_ **

**_Carlos_ **

Carlos grew and was a normal boy in every way, except he was what some would call a quiet child. He guarded his words carefully, never saying what he didn’t mean to say. He was slow to anger and was very protective of those who were picked on. He had an eye for detail and it showed in the doodles he did. He was also always looking around, patiently observing, some would say seeking. That changed sometime after he turned five. He would no longer seem to be seeking, but was always focused in one particular direction. It was almost as if he had found and was always facing toward some inner Mecca in silent contemplation.

**_Jacob_ **

Jacob Joseph Jensen’s parents weren’t all that surprised about his birth, as his mother’s pregnancy had been anything but typical. Throughout it, there had been times when the doctors thought she wouldn’t be able to carry him to term. It was almost as if Jacob wanted to come out before he was ready. So it was no real surprise that he was born almost a month and a half early. His parents had been prepared for him to be the worse for wear, but were surprised that he was perfectly healthy and only had to spend a week in the neonatal ICU to make sure his weight steadily increased.

When he was brought home, his four year old sister took one look at him and told her parents that he wasn’t normal. No matter how much his parents tried to convince her, she insisted with the conviction only the young can have that he wasn’t normal inside. Eventually, his parents shrugged it off and chalked it up to sibling jealousy then forgot about it. His sister didn’t forget and did her best to help take care of him.

By the time JJ, as he was called, was one and a half, he was speaking in clear simple sentences. His parents realized then that maybe his sister had sensed something that they hadn’t. He had always been a very active baby, wanting to go and get into things. He didn’t go through the typical baby phases of “Mine” and “NO”, instead it was always “Why” and “More”. He always wanted to know why and find out more about everything.

By the time he was supposed to enter school, it was obvious that knowledge and electronics held a fascination for JJ more than interacting with his peers, no matter how often his parents encouraged him to do so. This was even more noticeable after his first week in kindergarten. Instead of participating in cooperative play, he spent the time trying to take the electronic toys apart. The incident prompted the school psychologist to test him and call a conference with his parents. During the meeting, the concern over his lack of peer interaction was mentioned. It was suggested that Jake be moved up to the first grade. It was hoped that he’d be able to relate to others that were probably closer to his intellectual level. His parents reluctantly agreed and this was to set the tone of JJ’s school career.

**_Carlos_ **

When Carlos graduated high school, he decided to join the Army. He’d been encouraged by guidance counselors and teachers alike to do something with the art talent he possessed. He was good in math and probably could have found something that combined the two, but the military pulled him more. He didn’t know why, just that it was something he needed to do. Just like he knew whatever restlessness he’d always felt deep inside would eventually be calmed by going this route. So two days after his eighteenth birthday, he arrived at one of the Army training camps for Basic Combat Training.

**_Jacob_ **

By the time JJ was twelve, he was a freshman in high school. The only reason he wasn’t any further ahead was because his parents wanted him to be as normal as possible. Twice, they refused to advance him and opted for paying for extracurricular courses of the things he wanted to learn. Though his parents tried to limit his educational rise, it would not be hindered. He’d qualified for all the Advanced Placement college courses available to high school students and eventually completed all his requirements needed to graduate within a short time.

JJ’s interest in electronics and computers grew more than anything else. He would become engrossed in that world to the exclusion of everything else. His fascination with the inner workings of the devices was on a level that should have been applied to his social skills. For him the technology had more personality than most people did and he acted accordingly. He did try, but he seemed out of sync with his peers. This manifested itself by inappropriate babble at inconvenient times. Further cementing his belief, he was moving to a different frequency than they were. Eventually, he learned the formula of how to interact superficially in social situations. Not totally, but well enough to be considered a geek rather than a dork.

JJ knew his social skills were lacking, but he couldn’t seem to find a place to belong that fit him. Even with his sister’s help, he just couldn’t seem to relate to others in a non-linear fashion. She’d tried to help him with one troublesome bully, but it ended up with him once again saying the wrong thing. His sister ended up coming to his rescue in that instance. While cleaning up his cuts and scrapes, in frustration his sister had told him outright that he wasn’t normal. It was just like she had done when their parents had brought him home. He turned and looked at her in a way that was far older than his years. He simply answered her with he knew that then went to his room and back to his computer.

When JJ entered puberty, the physical changes were not a problem for him. His body’s sexual reactions to external stimuli were something he understood. It was the supposed emotional changes in regards to the opposite sex that became a problem. He was capable of appreciating physical attractiveness in a person regardless of gender and react to it physically, but there was never any deep emotional connection. He didn’t understand why he didn’t feel what they said he should when he liked someone. For him there were never any sweaty palms, no increased heartbeats and that overwhelming need to be close to the person he was attracted to.

In the end, it became a roleplaying game for him. He’d pretend the correct emotional responses according to what was expected. He’d fake crushes on girls from afar, always making sure it was the most unobtainable ones possible. By doing so he wouldn’t be more of a target for every bully and mean-spirited person in the school. This became his standard operational practice when doing the whole “dating thing”.

Throughout high school, his sister still did her best to defend him, but she had her own reputation to think about and protecting that put a strain on their closeness. The fact that he was so smart made it even more difficult for her, so needless to say when they ended up graduating together, it didn’t go over very well.

**_Carlos_ **

Carlos was now called Cougar and it was his twenty-first birthday. The three years he’d spent in the Army had served him well. He had achieved the rank of Corporal and was hoping to be promoted to Sergeant within the next few months. The unit he’d been assigned to since he’d completed training had decided to take him some place where he could officially have his first legal drink. The bar where they ended up at was not too far from base and had a heavy female population looking to score with a guy in uniform.

The alcohol flowed freely and as the night wore on, the unit got shit-faced, Cougar less so than the rest. On one of his trips to refresh their rounds, Cougar noticed a girl near the bar who looked out of place, especially with the way her hair was tied up with a bow. A sudden sharp longing hit him that made him suck in a breath and look away. When he looked back to where the girl had been, she was gone. He looked around but didn’t see her and spent the rest of the night scanning the crowds, but unable to find her.

The next day, one of Cougar’s teammates saw him sketching the girl he’d seen the night before. When asked who she was, Cougar, engrossed in his sketching, absently replied he had no clue, but that he’d see her again soon.

**_Jacob_ **

At sixteen, JJ, now choosing to go by Jake, was in his second year of college for Computer and Electrical Engineering, when tragedy struck. His parents got hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. Technically, guardianship could have gone to his sister, but she had enough on her plate with a newborn baby and a jackass for the sperm donor to deal with. He didn’t want to add to her problems any more than he had to as things between them were still kind of awkward though getting better. He looked toward getting emancipated so she wouldn’t have to worry about being able to afford his schooling even if he was on full scholarship.

All the schemes Jake had concocted were undone with the reading of his parents’ will. They had updated it when he had entered college at a young age. It stated that if he was still under the age of sixteen at the time of their death, his sister would be his guardian until he was sixteen, then he would be emancipated. If he was already sixteen, he was to be given emancipation. Everything else was to be split in half and a trust created for him from which he’d get an allowance. Though his parents weren’t filthy rich by any means, they did have a good insurance policy so he was set until he was able to finish school. He and his sister decided that she and his niece would move into the house to get away from the jackass sperm donor while he remained on campus in the dorms.

With his parents’ death, two of Jake’s emotional connections to people were gone. Of the ones that remained, one was still too new but meant everything to him and the other was working her way back to something he could depend on. They were all he had left and he wanted to protect them as much as possible, make sure they had everything they needed, and were taken care of no matter what. He had few personal connections, this loss shook him to his very bones, and he’d do whatever he had to do to keep them safe.

After his parents' death, Jake got it into his head he needed to provide for his niece and sister. In order to do so, he needed to find something that would provide all the benefits needed for them. During his college stay, Jake had offers from various companies, agencies and military branches to sign on with them. Though private sector paid much more, in the end he opted to go military and chose the Army. He had no idea why the Army, but he sensed that he’d probably find the connection he had been looking for all these years. Maybe he’d finally feel grounded.

So two months after he graduated with his Bachelors of Science in Computer and Electrical Engineering, he found himself going through BCT at Fort Benning. Afterwards, he’d be at Fort Gordon for job training. Jake really didn’t care what he did, much. Just so long as the pay was good and he could work on computers and tech as much as he wanted.

**_Now_ **

Cougar was between assignments again, waiting to see who he’d be loaned out to this time. During the past year, he’d grown to loathe military intelligence. The year before, he’d lost his unit, being the sole survivor. It had taken him two weeks to walk out of that hell depending only on his wits and his rifle to keep him alive. After a year of “healing”, he was still finding it difficult to deal with being the only one to survive. Because of that, he pretty much kept to himself on assignments. That’s probably why he ended up being loaned out so much. Most COs didn’t like to have an unknown that wouldn’t integrate on their team. Now, he was back at Fort Benning for advanced sniper training while they decided what he was to be doing next.

Cougar almost opted out with a psych discharge, but that feeling that he’d find what he was seeking kept him fighting to stay. Over the years, Cougar would look inward toward that place he’d been teased about growing up. In reality, it was like his inner Mecca, it provided him comfort during difficult times. He’d always had a vague idea from what direction it was coming, but never could pinpoint it. He figured it was too far for that to happen. Now, here on base, that feeling was the strongest he’d ever felt. It was like he was almost surrounded by that presence.

**_∞∞∞∞∞_ **

Jake, now answering to Jensen, had just completed Basic and had three days before he was due to report to Fort Gordon for MOS training. He was still at Fort Benning, trying to decide whether to go home for a visit with his sister and niece. All of a sudden, the inner restlessness he always felt as white noise, suddenly calmed. He looked around but couldn’t find a reason for it or see anyone who would have caused it. Eventually he chalked it up to his imagination and decided to stay on base until he was to leave for training. It didn’t make sense to waste the money and time when it could be better spent familiarizing himself with the layout of Fort Gordon’s computer systems, unofficially that is. Maybe by then he’d solve the mystery of what he was feeling.

Two days later, Jensen was in the lunch mess and tried to find a corner to plop down in and work on some programming while he ate what his body needed to function. Though, to be honest, he wasn’t all sure if he’d put his faith in the belief that what they were serving was 100% good for him, but hey, he didn’t have to cook it or go hunting for it. He found a spot that had two empty seats at a table that would serve him well enough to work and made his way to the spot. He nodded a hello to the four other occupants and once he’d settled in began working on his program.

Once he got immersed in his code, he didn’t even realize he’d gotten into his usual routine of talking to the computer in order to get it to do what he wanted. Slowly, the others around him left as quickly as they could to get away from whatever it was that he had, just in case it was contagious. Soon enough, the table’s only occupant was Jensen who was totally oblivious to his abandonment until, some unknown time later, a tray was plopped down across from him when he was joined by someone else.

Two days on this god forsaken base and Cougar found himself in the mess even though he hated it. The only reason he was there was a shortage of cash. Besides, he was in no mood really to hustle any of the greenies at pool for extra money. The mess was typically crowded as those in the same predicament opted for free food. There was one table in a corner of the mess that seemed to be no man’s land with a sole occupant sitting there absentmindedly eating while working on a laptop. Cougar curiously observed for a moment as two others walked over and once within what looked to be hearing distance turned around to find other seating. Ever since losing his unit, he hadn’t reached out to anyone else within the military for company, but this lone soul called to him and he answered.

Cougar made his way over to the young soldier’s table. Sure enough, when he got within hearing range he understood why the others had left. The young man was sweet talking to a computer, but instead of the oddity of the moment scaring him off, Cougar found it cute. So he sat down. He gave a small smile at the startled look from behind the non-regulation glasses the kid was wearing. Then lost his heart when the blue eyes sparkled and a bright smile lit up the young face. He finally felt like he’d come home.

Jensen looked up startled, into the warmest brown eyes he’d ever seen. It was as if his entire life he’d been waiting for this moment to finally breathe. He was so relieved that he gave the newcomer a big smile. Holding out his hand, Jensen introduced himself, “Corporal Jacob Jensen, you can call me Jake.”

Cougar smiled his first honest smile in a year, took the offered hand and was stunned by the jolt the contact caused. He had to swallow before he could speak. “Carlos, Carlos Alvarez. Most call me Cougar, but you can call me Carlos, Jake.”

“Cool. So, Carlos, what brings you to…” Jake looked around and noticed that they were the only ones in that corner of the mess. “I guess my corner of the world,” he finished.

“You,” Cougar answered honestly, still not letting go of the hand he was holding.

“Huh? Well, that’s a first. I’ve never had anyone seek me out, unless it was for them try to bully me into cheating for them, or entertainment purposes. Theirs, usually, and not mine, because it was usually at my expense they got entertained which I later would get even with using my awesome brain power. Um…why?” Jake finally asked while noticing they were still holding hands.

Reluctantly, Jensen pulled his hand back. Though DADT had been repealed years ago, it still wasn’t kosher to be seen being obvious about your interest. Boy, oh boy, was Jensen interested.

He quietly looked Carlos over and liked everything he saw. From the slightly shaggy short hair that was anything but regulation, he knew that Cougar was Spec Ops because there was no way that he wasn’t and get away with that haircut. Add in the beginnings of a moustache and goatee, yeah, definitely Spec Ops. On top of all that, there was the voice with a nice Spanish accent and warm brown eyes that spoke volumes. The tight t-shirt that showed off a fit body was just a bonus. For the first time, Jensen felt connected to someone on more than a superficial level. His body thrummed with recognition so strong that he was sure its vibration could be seen.

Cougar examined the kid across from him in the same manner that he was being examined. The crew cut showed that he was probably just out of basic, but the glasses showed he wasn’t that much of a conformist unless he had to be. The blue eyes sparked with intelligence, curiosity and mischief, the uniform did nothing for the kid, but he could still make out the beginnings of a good set of muscles underneath so knew the kid had no fear of physical labor. Even if, when he’d approached, the kid had obliviously been focused on his computers.

It took a few moments, but Cougar finally realized that his inner Mecca all pointed toward this kid. This young man was the one he’d been waiting for all his life. He was determined that one way or another he was keeping him. “Just out of Basic?” he asked.

“See, I like that in a person, straight to the point. No beating around the bush.” Jensen grinned at the shrug he received in reply to his comment. “Is it that obvious?”

Cougar tipped his head with a shrug as if to say more or less. “Sí, it’s the haircut.”

Jensen chuckled and ran his hand over his head. “Yeah, I can’t wait to let this grow back out into something more familiar and comfortable. What about you? You don’t look like you’re a new recruit. I have my suspicions and none of them screams regular Army.”

Cougar just smiled and shrugged his shoulders with a tilt of his head. “I’m here for advanced training that starts day after tomorrow.”

“Huh, I’ve got to leave late tomorrow morning for AIT.” For a few moments, Jensen looked and felt real disappointed. Then he perked up with an idea, “Um…you want to hang out until I have to leave tomorrow? Um…that is, if you want to. You know…you don’t have to, if you don’t want to. I just thought that maybe you know…we could kinda get to know each other better.” Jensen’s babble finally trailed off as Cougar replied.

“Sí, I’d love to spend time with you. Lo siento, it won’t be more than what we’ll have.” Cougar really was sorry they’d have such a short time together. He was determined to enjoy every minute of it while figuring out a way to keep Jake.

After they finished their meal, they decided to head over to the rec center. Instead of grabbing a vehicle to get to the other side of the base, they opted to walk. It was oddly familiar how the two of them just fell into step with each other on the trek. The conversation was varied, with Jensen providing most of the talking but Cougar didn’t mind. In fact, Cougar occasionally provided his own feedback on what was said that would egg the other man on.

When they reached the rec center, Cougar was appalled that the young soldier had no clue on how to play pool. He took it upon himself to educate the young man. It was also a bonus that he’d be in close quarters while doing so. Jensen was amazed at the sniper’s knowledge of angles, banks and force. After the third game of losing to him, Jensen quipped that it was no fair he was using his sniper ninja skills on him while playing. With laughter in his eyes, Cougar gave a small smile and simply shrugged.

Jensen decided to get even by challenging Cougar to _Mortal Kombat_ on one of the game consoles set up. For their first match, he chose to play Johnny Cage, while Cougar opted for Liu Kang. They played for a while changing characters and games around, and they both won just as much as they lost. Eventually their stomachs interrupted the trash talk they’d been doing.

Jensen treated for dinner at one of the on base cafés. They grabbed an ice cream cone on their way out, to enjoy while they walked off to wherever their feet led them. Somehow they ended up near one of the base ponds. Jensen pulled out his laptop so they could see a movie that they’d both like, as the ones at the rec center were all outdated. Afterwards, they spent the rest of the evening talking.

Jensen couldn’t believe that Cougar had stuck around with him all this time. The other man hadn’t freaked out at his incessant talking. He didn’t even mind the outrageous comments that even he knew should never have passed his lips. Most of all he enjoyed the closeness they seemed to have fallen into. It was something he wanted to keep forever.

Cougar was amazed how alive he felt. For the first time in over a year, he didn’t feel alone. Jensen was easy on his soul and working his way deeper. Everything in him pointed to this young soldier and all he could do is take what he could get now. One day though, he hoped he’d have more. Eventually, the evening got late and they had to call it a night. Cougar escorted Jensen back to his barracks and they made arrangements to meet for breakfast.

The next morning found the two more subdued, though conversation was still flowing. If Jensen was less exuberant than the day before, neither man commented on it. Since they only had a few hours before Jensen had to leave for the bus station, they decided to go back to the pond. Cougar knew their parting was going to be difficult and tried to minimize the damage with shop talk. They discussed what life would be like for Jensen in the Army. They both avoided any personal comments that would remind them about their current situation.

Finally, Jensen had to head out to catch his bus to Fort Gordon. Cougar went with him to see him off. They were both quiet on the ride out. At the bus station, Jensen broke the silence as he grabbed his duffle and held out a piece of paper to Cougar. “Um…that’s my email address. I know you said that you’re not really into computers…but, um…I figured, if you wanted to…you know…you’re not under any obligation or anything to…”

Cougar took the paper from Jensen. “Gracías. I can’t guarantee how often, but I’ll keep in touch.”

Jensen heard the announcement for his bus and on a whim grabbed Cougar into a tight hug and whispered, “I wish we could be stationed together.” Then quickly released him and walked away toward his gate without looking back.

Cougar stood there stunned as Jensen hugged him and then walked off. He finally snapped out of it with an equally quiet whisper, “Yo también, mi amor.” He turned around heading back towards the main base with the piece of paper clutched tightly in his hand.

**_Two Years Later_ **

Two years, half of which was spent getting extra special training for Jensen. The other half, being bounced around from one unit to the next as they never had a clue what to do with him.

Two years of soldiering on with limited contact from Cougar. Contact Jensen soaked up as if he was a sponge. The first email had come a week after they had parted. Jensen had been so excited he’d bounced all day and it had gotten him in trouble with his instructors. He’d ended up doing CAPE that evening before dinner. From that moment on, he’d written to Cougar at least once a week. He knew that the sniper might not get his emails when he sent them. He sent them anyway with the hope they would brighten Cougar’s day when he was able to read them. Cougar’s replies came semi-regularly and on those days Jensen always seemed to end up doing CAPE for some reason or another.

They’d discussed a lot of things over those two years. Only once, did they ever mention the connection they’d both felt at their first meeting. He had even managed to guilt Cougar into a video conference for his birthday that first year apart. Seeing the sniper on the screen with the longer hair, full mustache and goatee, only made the other man sexier. His longing had increased with the addition of that visual image. It further cemented his desire to be with the older man. Shortly after, Jensen had volunteered for Spec Ops with the hope that he’d end up in the same unit as Cougar. It was that thought alone that kept him from losing his mind during the training.

After Jensen’s completed SERE, he’d checked to see what unit Cougar was in hoping to somehow work a transfer to it. But from what Jensen had found, Cougar had only been permanently assigned to a team in the last year and he still hadn’t found out which.

Here Jensen was, two years down the road from their first meeting. He was being sent to another unit that the Brass hoped would be able to straighten him out, to mold him into the right kind of soldier. Jensen translated it as being; _if he can’t fix the boy then it’s a lost cause_. His new orders had him reporting to one Colonel Franklin Clay for the position of Tech Spec and Comms. When he’d looked the man up, he was surprised that the grapevine called the man King of the Losers. That didn’t bode well to Jensen and he just hoped he didn’t piss this one off without meaning to like he did his other COs.

**_∞∞∞∞∞_ **

Cougar knew they were getting a Tech assigned permanently to their unit. When Clay mentioned it was one Corporal Jacob Jensen, his whole body went into overdrive. It took every last ounce of his sniper training to keep from showing exactly how much he wanted this and how much he dreaded it.

The past two years had been hell for him without Jake, even though he’d kept tabs on him. He’d been proud, scared and anxious when he found out Jake had volunteered for Spec Ops. He wasn’t sure if the kid could survive the training, but he’d pulled through with flying colors and not half bad scores.

Now, after being bounced around from team to team, Jake was being assigned to The Losers. He’d be on the same team that never tried to force Cougar to get over losing his first unit. Instead, they had helped him heal from the loss. In the process they’d given him another team to call family of a sort.

Cougar knew if they were to meet, he wouldn’t be able to leave Jake again. It had been difficult the first time around. For that reason, he’d tried to keep their contact limited, but it hadn’t worked. He’d spent more time than he’d intended - but less than he wanted - in contact with Jake. The first email he sent was so the kid didn’t feel rejected. He’d told himself he could be a long distance mentor to the kid. He’d given himself a schedule of every couple of months he’d check on the kid. When Jensen started replying weekly, and he found himself looking forward to the emails after missions, the schedule was revised to once a month. Sometimes his replies would be two weeks in a row, but he always kept to the once a month schedule. He couldn’t handle any more than that without wanting to run to Jake’s side.

He’d even broken down and given in to Jake’s plea for a video conference. He’d known the kid had been having a difficult time fitting in with his unit. It’s the reason why he’d said yes. He’d also reasoned that a video chat wasn’t the same as an email. He’d refused to acknowledge that he needed it just as much as Jensen had. The image of the man he’d come to love somehow only made his heart more determined to be with him. Afterwards, Cougar had felt lost and lonely.

Cougar’s first mission right after that chat had been a revelation. He’d realized he needed the other man on more than one level. He’d been up in his sniper’s nest unable to settle down. He’d noticed an animal scamper across his field of vision. It had reminded him of something Jensen had described during one of his ramblings. In his mind, he could almost hear the words of Jensen’s explanation as if he was with him. That remembered voice had calmed him and he was able to focus on the task at hand once again. That was when the epiphany hit, he loved the young man more anything else.

Now, Cougar was waiting for Clay to bring their new Tech to the on-base housing where the team crashed when not on assignments. He almost felt like a virgin on her wedding night waiting for her groom. The irony of the imagery was not overlooked by him.

**_∞∞∞∞∞_ **

“Corporal Jacob Jensen reporting for duty as ordered, sir.” Jensen gave a crisp salute as expected after gaining entry to his new CO’s office. Then he handed over his orders and file.

“Corporal Jensen, huh? I’ve heard rumors about you, Corporal.”

“All slander, sir. I’m quite sure the rumors are nowhere near the truth.” Jensen neglected to mention how the truth may be worse than the rumors.

“Is that so, Corporal? Well, we’ll see just how much truth they do have. We’ll also be seeing if you’re a Loser or not. Grab your gear and follow me.” Clay got up and walked out, heading toward base housing.

Jensen quickly grabbed his bags and followed behind the scruffy and scary looking colonel. He just hoped this wasn’t one of those testosterone heavy units like his fifth one. He hoped this unit didn't do anything stupid to him like his last unit had. He wasn’t sure that he’d be as nice now, as he had been then, in retaliation. He wondered if any of the others had managed to get back the thousand dollars a piece that he’d donated in their names to Critter Connection, Inc. and Longhopes Donkey Shelter. It just seemed a good idea as they were relatives to that unit’s members. Jensen refocused back on the here and now as they approached a house.

“Losers, gather up!” Clay yelled as he entered the house and went into the living room.

Jensen warily watched as each member came into the room. The first to enter was tall, scary and had a dark complexion with a scar on his face that just screamed fuck with me and get hurt, badly. Then there was bald, slightly shorter and not so scary. He had a medium complexion and radiated welcome vibes. The last to enter took Jensen’s breath away as he’d have known that face anywhere even with the longer hair. He just couldn’t take his eyes off the man he’d longed for the past two years.

Cougar gave a small smile at Jensen’s reactions to seeing him. He was glad that he wasn’t the only one affected by seeing the other again.

“Huh, this may be a problem, Boss,” Roque said, breaking Jensen out of his distraction.

“Why’s that, Captain?” Clay just looked at his SIC and then back at his sniper and tech.

“You know why, Clay.”

“Awww, the Pooch thinks it’s cute. Puppy love,” Pooch commented.

Turning to face the two men in question, Clay laid down the law in regards to the obvious attraction these two had. “I don’t give a fuck who you fuck. So long as it doesn’t fuck with the team dynamics. If you two can’t do that then let me know now and I’ll send Jensen right back.”

Cougar silently growled, stepped in front of Jensen and looked Clay in the eyes. “It won’t, Boss. He stays.”

“You sure about that, Cougar,” Clay verified.

“Sí, he stays.” Cougar glared, daring Clay to make an issue of it.

“Um…don’t I have a say in this, too?” Jensen inquired.

“NO!” “Sure you do, Corporal.” Cougar and Clay said simultaneously.

“Um…Can you excuse us for a moment, please, Colonel.” Jensen dragged Cougar to where he saw the kitchen was. Once there, he rounded on the sniper and asked, “What the hell was that about?”

“Nada,” Cougar evaded, feeling a bit sheepish at his overprotective reaction to Clay’s threat of sending Jensen away.

“Nothing? Carlos, that was far from nothing. I know you are a man of few words and normally I can translate, but that was just so much crap that it’s not even worth translating. Now, answer the question. Or so help me, I will go online and sign your ass up for all those freaky singles sites that you laughed about when I told you about General Cordell.” Jake glared down at the slightly shorter man.

“Tu eres mio,” Cougar said and crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive move.

“Oh, so now, after two years of skirting around it, you want to actually admit to it. Not to mention you made your claim in front of our CO!”

Unknown to the two in the kitchen, as they were so involved in their little discussion, the rest of the team was just standing out of view listening to the whole thing.

“You think we should interrupt them. ‘Cause I don’t need to hear the domestic squabble. Especially as it doesn’t look like they’ll be violence or bloodshed,” Roque asked.

“Nah, let them sort it out. We’ll hit the bar. Come back in an hour or two. See if they’ve killed each other by then.” Clay turned around and headed out the door, Roque not far behind him. Pooch looked into the kitchen, shrugged and followed.

Back in the kitchen, Jensen and Cougar faced off with one waiting for an answer and the other trying to say what he wanted without making it worse. Cougar figured actions spoke louder than words. He grabbed the back of Jake’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss that the other man melted into. When they parted, both were panting for breath. “Nunca te dejaré de nuevo, amor,” Cougar promised.

“Ditto, I don’t think I’d be able to leave you either,” Jake answered. He looked around and noticed it was quiet. “Um…you think we should go back out there and kinda explain things to them?” Jensen made no move to go see if the others were where they left them, especially as he had his heart’s desire in his arms and he wasn’t about to let go any time soon.

“No, I think they headed for the bar,” Cougar answered in between kisses, while slowly walking them both back towards what would become their room.

“So, does this mean we’ll work on not screwing up the team dynamics?” Jensen asked as he worked on getting Cougar’s shirt off him. “We’re really finally going to do this, aren’t we?”

“Sí,” Cougar answered, then kissed Jake and from that point on their discussion had nothing at all to do with team dynamics.

**_Two Hours Later_ **

Clay, Roque and Pooch came back to the house, all three being less sober than they’d left. Though, to be honest, Pooch was the most sober among them. “Looks like they didn’t kill each other,” Pooch noticed.

Roque just grumbled something about them better not screwing shit up. Clay just ignored both of his men and headed for the kitchen, looking to make some coffee and then finally being able to talk to Jensen. All three men went on alert as they heard a scream from Cougar’s room. Guns in hand they went in, hoping not to have to cover for a dead body. What they got instead was a view of their new tech nailing their sniper to the mattress.

They quickly backpedaled out of the room and closed the door. Clay ran a hand over his face, trying to erase the image, and then looked at his other two team members. “I don’t think they’ll be a problem on missions.” He then walked back out to go get drunk and wipe what he saw out of his mind. Roque and Pooch weren’t far behind.


	2. Fic Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What I created to help me write this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that the big reveal is out. I have two bonuses for you Taibhrigh. I hope you enjoy them.
> 
> Click on images for actual size.

[ ](http://dl.dropbox.com/u/74237572/Ante-Up-Losers/RoadHomeforTravelin'SoldierWallpaperV4.jpg)

[ ](http://dl.dropbox.com/u/74237572/Ante-Up-Losers/RoadHomeforTravelin'SoldierWallpaperV4.jpg)

**Author's Note:**

> Sí: Yes  
> Lo siento: I'm sorry  
> Gracías: Thanks  
> Yo también, mi amor: Me too, my love.  
> Nada: Nothing  
> Tu eres mio: You're mine.  
> Nunca te dejaré de nuevo, amor: I'll never again leave you, love.


End file.
